There are some awful stereotypes about virgins and virginity that need to die. We put too much moral judgment on women based on how much sex they’re having or not having. Most of the stereotypes come from those who are ill-informed about what virginity is and why some people may be virgins, but a lot of the more harmful microaggressions I’ve seen have some from otherwise sex-positive feminists, which is just offensive. It’s a lot of stress and pressure over something that should be a personal choice. These stereotypes about virgins and virginity need to die in a fire along with any other sex-negative thinking about what people should and should not be doing with their bodies.
1. All virgins are waiting for marriage
Some are waiting for marriage. Some just haven’t had sex yet. Don’t fill in gaps in someone else’s story without actually knowing him.
2. Virgins can’t be sexy
Being sexy, being sexual, and having sex, are three mutually exclusive things. There’s no freshness seal that gets broken and BAM – the former virgin is now currently sexy. Yeah, no.
3. Virgins are sexually ignorant
Nothing takes an otherwise respected person and makes them assumed to be an idiot quite like hearing their lack of sexual experience. We’ve seen it in movies, remember Clueless? – and it’s just not real. Why do you feel the need to explain blow jobs to this person? Because they haven’t given one and you’re the Prime Minister of sucking dick? Stop talking.
4. Virgins are clingy
There’s some awful stereotype that virgins are clingers and that once they have sex with someone, they’ll glom on to them like a baby bird to its momma in some weird hormonal-brain-imprinting beyond their control. Where do people get this idea? It’s full of wrong, harmful to both parties, and prevents a lot of people from having sex. Also, some dicks are special, but not every dick is life-changing like a girl is going to automatically follow someone around because he put his penis inside her.
5. Virgins have never had an orgasm
Having a sit-down talk with a new friend who was in a long-term relationship and drawing how to find her clitoris on a cocktail napkin because she has never had an orgasm on purpose. Being sexually aware and having partnered sex are two different things.
6. Virgins are judging your sex life
Whether it’s a choice or by accident, no one is thinking about your sex life as much as you are. No one is judging you because you (safely) practice something they don’t.